Week 5 Reflection: Hunker Down

squat+inventor(Photo Credit: http://lynskies.blogspot.com/)

Last week was all about feeling like I had face planted, while this week was all about hunkering down and doing my best possible work amidst the curve balls life sometimes throws one’s way. By Wednesday night, about 80% of all my concepts and the majority of my story critique, Lankshear and Knobel response, and mashup assignment were complete. However, Thursday morning, my boyfriend, Ben, needed to go to the emergency room and I have been with him at the hospital ever since. It’s a congenital issue that he’s been dealing with all his life, and it happened to get a little (or way) out of hand this time.

I am sharing this because it ties into my theme of grief. It wasn’t even six months ago that I was advocating and caring for my mother in the hospital as she battled cancer. Her struggle ultimately ended in death and I have been working to fully embrace the grief to become whole again. My current time in the hospital with Ben has re-opened those barely healed wounds and honestly scared the crap out of me.

It’s funny how the story I critiqued this week explored how terrifying joy can be. Brene Brown and Oprah talk about how it’s human nature to try and beat pain and vulnerability to the punch by assuming the worst when life is good. I was really starting to feel joyful again between pursing a masters, embarking upon a new relationship, and feeling like the worst was over. Then, through no one’s fault, Ben and I ended up in the hospital together and I would be a liar if I said that I didn’t play out all the most horrible possibilities in my head while in the waiting room. Is my vulnerability so great right now, that I can’t just sit with uncertainty and trust in Divine order?

My goal for this week is really embrace Brene Brown’s message: lean into the vulnerability and joy no matter what the outcome may be. This is the only way to become the whole-hearted person I long to be.

Week 5 Assignments:

TDC 1 Precious Budding Wings
Story Critique 1 “Joy: It’s Terrifying” Story Critique
Weekly Assignment 7 Days of Selfie Indulgence
L&K Response Chapter 5: Jane Goodall, the Ultimate Collaborator
Peer Story Critique 1 Mario Theme Song – Dub Remix
Peer Story Critique 2 Blank Space Moms
L&K Peer Responses 1 Meerkat vs Periscope
L&K Peer Responses 2 Lankshear and Knobel. Fith Chapter. Collaborative Practices.
TDC 2 Them Death Apples

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